


A Constant

by realeyesrealize



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2012, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-21
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-18 01:22:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13089465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realeyesrealize/pseuds/realeyesrealize
Summary: But Phil is always with him, a constant.





	A Constant

Some days are bad. Some days are _very_ bad. He wakes up with his heart pounding. It isn’t because of nightmares, oh no, it’s reality hitting him like a ton of bricks. Straight into his chest. And pressing, hard, until he’s breathless. 

That’s when human instinct is supposed to kick in, to whisper quietly in your ear “It’s nothing, you’re alright.” But on days like this, his rational thinking is long gone, nowhere to be found. Instead, an angry voice is screaming in his mind, panicking. “They know, they know, they know.” 

He isn’t angry, not like some people think he is. He is scared, the most scared he has ever been, by far. And he knows he can’t do anything to reverse the situation. It had happened, the video was out there and people were watching it. And people _knew_. 

The more he tried to control the situation, the more out of hand it got. Because there’s not much you can do when you’re trying to protect yourself against something everyone can now use against you. Not much you can do when your mind is constantly screaming, panicking. Not when you’re not sleeping, when your body decides to fall into the abyss of anxiety and stay there. 

Phil holds him through it all. When he wakes up shaking and out of breath, and when he finally crawls back into bed, late at night, his laptop on the floor, a cruel reminder of it all. He makes himself smaller and Phil’s arms embrace him. He feels the warmth and focuses on it. 

Phil breathes with him. Inhale, pause, exhale. Repeat. It can take a couple minutes or half an hour. But Phil is always with him, a constant. 

When he’s calmed down, he presses up against Phil, chasing the warmth back to its source. He relaxes his fists, lets the blood flow again. And, slowly, very slowly, he brings his hands up to his chest, where Phil’s hands are. He strokes them and then hangs on to them. 

Sighing, he lets himself feel the tiredness. His muscles are relaxed, but exhausted. His body lies limp, heavy against the mattress. Phil releases one of his hands from Dan’s soft grip and pulls the covers over them. That’s where Dan feels the most secure, in a cocoon, with his person. Them against the world. One step at a time.

**Author's Note:**

> They say practice makes perfect, so this is me practising. Let me know if you liked it!
> 
> ps: thanks gal!


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